Message: 6 Date: Tue, 07 Aug 2001 00:52:05 -0400 From: Snoe Subject: FIC: Princess of Goodbyes (1/1) Title: Princess of Goodbyes Author: Snoe Rating: R Pairing: B/F, F/other Disclaimer: I don't own anything…except for the title, that's all mine. Feedback: Please tell me if ya like this stuff… Summary: Someone from the past is set out to try and right things for himself in the future. But maybe getting what you want isn't the answer. Author's Note: This is another pretty depressing piece…I just don't seem to be able to write much B/F happiness recently. Don't worry, I have some ideas and hope to actually write them. I just wanted to use the title for something, I love the title, but it's a depressing title. The boy set down the heavy piece of equipment with a loud thud on the stage. They'd been carrying their stuff into this place for the last half hour and he was beat. He stood and stretched his screaming muscles, then looked around the empty club. It wasn't exactly the type of place they usually played in; it looked like a peaceful hang-out for GAP kids. Shaking his head, the dark-haired boy wiped the sweat off his face with a towel and sat down on the small stool in front of his drum-set. Moving around the drums, he sighed in relief as he'd finally arranged them right and stood up again. They still had about two hours before the club, 'The Bronze' or something similar vanilla, were to open and he desperately needed a shower and a change of clothes. He walked to the end of the stage and jumped off, making his way towards the side entrance where they'd parked the van. "Hey Kenny!" someone yelled from behind him and the boy turned around to look at his friend. "What?" he responded with an irritated tone in his voice. He didn't want to be kept up anymore. They'd spent way too much time on the road to get here to California, playing various gigs on the way, but now he just wanted to rest for at least a few minutes. "If you're going back to the motel take Jeff with ya, he's been whining about a real bed for like the past three thousand miles. And don't forget…be here at 8 sharp!" Kenny nodded and rolled his eyes, then walked through the exit into the fresh evening air. He could hear his other friend's footsteps behind him and didn't even bother to look whether Jeff was catching up with him. Taking a deep breath, the dark-haired boy glanced around. This town was definitely strange. It was as if someone had licked the streets clean of people now that it was getting dark; it was just the opposite of Boston, their hometown, and he had to wonder what was wrong with the people here. Getting into the van he looked over at the guitarist and Jeff nodded at him to get going. While driving to their motel Kenny realized he couldn't care less for the people here. As long as they were getting paid and eventually got their deal with the record label the people here could be vampires for all he cared. * * * The beat sunk into his body like usual and he moved his body accordingly, as much as his playing the drums allowed him anyway. His hands fell into rhythm, beating the drums harshly and he rocked his body to the music. Now he was in his element, if he was playing music with his band he couldn't care less about anything else. Well pretty much anything else. Because when Kenny opened his eyes and scanned the rows of dancing teens, he eventually spotted a group of kids sitting around a table. Not that the kids were unusual or even frightening, but then the boy saw the brunette girl sitting on the lap of a smaller blonde, laughing. It almost knocked him to the floor, took his breath away. He knew he pretty much had perfect eyesight and he'd recognize that face anywhere. That body, he corrected himself. Kenny finished the song in a stupor, his eyes never leaving the girl sitting only feet away from him. How long had it been since he'd last seen her? At least four years, he guessed, and she still looked as gorgeous as ever. The same wild look in her eyes, the sexy and dangerous smile, the attitude and the clothes. Kenny couldn't believe that she was here of all places; he would've figured that she'd run away to some party place when she'd left Boston. But no, she was here, the same girl he remembered, and the boy couldn't help but think that maybe it was fate. He'd never forgotten Faith. The way she walked, the way she talked, the way she made him feel, the way she only gave a little and took so much more. They'd gone out way back, she'd been around 14 and him 16, and every one of their friends had said that they were going to last forever, while they said that she would dump him for someone else sooner or later behind his back. And so she had, eventually yes, but the time he'd spent with her Kenny had been in love with the girl. Sure, he probably hadn't exactly shown his affections and he knew he'd never said the l-word to her, but she'd still hurt him by leaving. After a night of the greatest sex of his life Faith had up and left, not even telling him where she was going. All he'd gotten was a simple 'Bye' and he'd lost the only girl who could hold her own against his constant tirades. But he'd figured she would come back, she always did. Faith would leave and come back days later, new fire in her eyes and fresh wind in her hair. Although this time was different, this time she was really gone. That's when he had dubbed her his 'princess of goodbyes', something he believed would fit her relationship with pretty much everyone she met. He knew she had one-night stands like other people had chocolate, often and not without pleasure, and that she never stayed in one place for very long. Shaking his head, the dark-haired boy got off the stage after they were done, still engrossed in his thoughts and walked closer to the group of people that was around the brunette. He didn't want Faith to see him, there was no doubt she'd recognize him and he wasn't sure whether that'd be a good idea. She was still sitting on the blonde girl's lap, her arms wrapped around the girl's neck. Kenny wasn't exactly shocked or surprised, Faith had never been one to stick to one gender in particular, she'd mentioned to him once that it was 'too restrictive'. So he watched, curiously, as Faith and the blonde kissed softly, nothing like the Faith he was used to. There was passion, sure, but it wasn't the same open PDA he knew Faith would go for with anyone she was with. Which made him wonder for just a second whether it really was her, but as he got a better look at her face he had no doubts. Kenny took a deep breath and cocked his head. He couldn't believe how much the sight of her made him ache, made him want to take her back to his motel room and fuck her brains out until she couldn't even scream his name anymore. He still wanted Faith, there was no need to deny it, and not even the memory of her rejecting him could change his mind. Maybe he still had a chance, if she saw him now; he was more mature, his body had gotten even more muscular and he was in a band that seemed to be close to a record deal. If he walked up to her, demanded she'd come with him…Kenny knew Faith liked tough guys and he was definitely tough. He could have a chance, no matter how close she and that blonde chick looked. * * * Buffy leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss onto her girlfriend's lips before smiling at her. She wrapped an arm around the brunette's waist and leaned her head against Faith's shoulder. She was getting tired and it was barely 10 PM, Buffy figured she should lay off those all-night lovemaking sessions to get some sleep, but that thought almost made her laugh. There was no way Faith was going to let her get some sleep unless she was dead-tired as well. Buffy considered sending her girlfriend to patrol, but crossed that thought out due to the whole 'hungry and horny' thing. If Faith got wound up Buffy was never going to sleep tonight. "Hey B?" the younger girl asked softly and Buffy looked up into a set of beautiful brown eyes, then smiled. "Yes babe?" she asked softly, brushing some dark hair out of Faith's eyes. "Would you mind if I went ahead to patrol? I'm getting kinda antsy, just need a good slay or something," Faith mumbled into her ear and the blonde nodded, thinking whether that really was a good idea. But the demon and vampire activity had been down in the past few weeks, it was slow and she was sure Faith could handle anything normal sized that came her way. "No, not at all….do you want me to meet up with you later?" The brunette shifted and leaned back in her girlfriend's arms, then smiled as well, "If ya want…I'll be at Restfield, okay?" Buffy nodded, holding onto the brunette's hand as Faith stood up. The younger girl leaned down, kissing Buffy gently and walked off with a smile, mumbling a goodbye to the Scoobies. The blonde watched her leave and therefore didn't notice the young man standing only two feet away from her who was doing the exact same thing, the look on his face, however, fallen. Turning her attention back to her friends, Buffy almost jumped as the boy walked up in front of her with a soft smile on his face. "Do you wanna dance?" he yelled over the music and Buffy smiled nervously. Sure, there was nothing bad about a dance, but Faith might get the wrong impression. She looked at the boy, studying his handsome features and muscular body, then sighed. "Listen, I'm not single," she tried, hoping he'd either get the hint and leave or not try to make any advances on her. "No, I know. That's cool, really. I just wanna dance, and you looked like the right girl to do it with." Finally Buffy shrugged, standing up and throwing a quick smile at Willow who looked slightly worried. The boy led her onto the dance floor and took a hold of her hands, then started moving his body to the quick rhythm. "My name's Kenny. What's yours?" The boy had to yell to be heard over the music, but thanks to Slayer hearing Buffy didn't have all that much of a problem to understand him. "I'm Buffy," she smiled as he shook her hand and fell back into the rhythm of dancing, right until the fast-paced music stopped and a slower song started. The girl looked at him reluctantly, but then figured she really wasn't doing anything wrong by just slow-dancing with someone. Faith had danced with other people probably a million times since they'd started dating and Buffy stepped up closer to Kenny. "I'm sorry, but I gotta ask you something," the boy mumbled into her ear as they danced and she motioned for him to go ahead, wondering what a complete stranger could ever ask her. "The girl you were just with, your girlfriend I figured, her name's Faith, right?" Kenny looked at her expectantly and Buffy's eyes widened considerably. How did he know Faith? And then why was he dancing with her? Buffy couldn't help but let a sinking feeling enter her stomach, not many people in Sunnydale knew Faith unless it was for a specific reason. And the blonde didn't want to think about this guy knowing her girlfriend in that specific way. "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you think that…I know Faith from when she lived in Boston. See, I'm from Boston and I recognized her, so I had to know if it really was her," Kenny interrupted her thoughts and Buffy was slightly relieved. But when she looked at the boy again she wasn't so sure anymore. He was cute, kind of grungy, definitely Faith's type and Buffy hoped she wasn't getting close to some old boyfriend of her current girlfriend's. "R…really? That's interesting. And uh yeah…that was Faith. So how'd you know her?" Buffy finally managed to speak, cursing herself for actually asking that question. She didn't want to know the answer, considering that she'd just had a flashback to a very old conversation between her and Faith about the brunette's boyfriends. The one where Faith had mentioned a boyfriend named Kenny, who was a drummer and a loser according to the brunette. "I went out with her a couple of years ago…she's not really the relationship-type person but we lasted long enough. I guess it's just hard to forget her…I mean, who would want to forget the best sex of their lives," Kenny continued, apparently deep in thought and Buffy had to keep herself from making any weird noises. She felt disgust creep up inside of her at the mere touch of the boy who'd been one of so many to use her girlfriend and she stepped back slightly. Faith had told her that before Buffy no one had ever made love to her, no one had ever told her they loved her and no one had ever cared enough about her to learn of things she liked that didn't pertain to sexual practices. Buffy wanted Faith to be loved, wanted to love her and that meant she didn't want some ex-boyfriend of the brunette around to possibly ruin things between them. "Okay listen…Faith and I have been together for almost a year. I don't know what you want, but trust me, she's a different girl and I'm not about to let her get hurt." Kenny smiled and shook his head, "Really, I just wanted to know how she was doing. A whole year, huh? That's a lot for her, I'm sure. Faith is more a 'get some and get gone' kinda girl. She doesn't like to stick around, y'know? At the beginning of our relationship it was alright, but then she started vanishing, sometimes three or four days without telling anyone where she went. Eventually she just left completely and never came back. Not to mention that the only way she got herself to stay with me for that long was to cheat. I had to face it, as much as I wanted her, the girl's not built for a relationship. She needs freedom and she'll get it even if she's tied down." Buffy looked at him and swallowed. No, it could just be him lying and trying to play up her insecurities. In the past few weeks Faith had just left for hours at first, then a day and the last time she'd been for almost three days, leaving no trace or note to let anyone know where she was. The thought of something happening to her girlfriend scared her, but Buffy had also been worried of what Faith might be doing while she was trying to stay away from her. And Kenny, with his own apparently very similar experience, had just given her the fuel to talk to her girlfriend about her fears. The blonde smiled at the boy and excused herself, then walked back to her friends. She told them that she was going to patrol with Faith and left the Bronze as well, hoping that she could get something resolved. She never noticed the dark-haired boy following her out into the chilly night air. * * * He yawned and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Kenny had followed the blonde chick out of the club and, where he'd hoped, straight to Faith. Although he still couldn't figure out why the hell the two girls were meeting at a graveyard of all places. He lit a cigarette and inhaled the smoke deeply, watching as the blonde and brunette walked down a path of tombstones, closer to the bushes he was hiding behind. The boy stood behind a row of tall, leafy trees that were lined with bushes, giving him a great hiding space, while he was still able to hear their conversation. "Buffy, what're you saying?" Faith asked, looking at the blonde. The blonde chick stopped and heaved a sigh, her hands holding onto the brunette's as she spoke, "Faith, I want you to be honest with me. All those times you just vanished…Faith…have you ever cheated on me?" Kenny almost held his breath as well, but realized how stupid that would be. That didn't mean he wasn't curious though, and he leaned a little closer to the edge to be able to hear the brunette's answer. He really didn't have much doubt in what her reply would be, but he wasn't totally sure how the blonde would react. Kenny remembered he'd been mad, furious even, he'd gone as far as shoving his girlfriend against the wall and tell her to never do it again. Maybe the blonde would cry, she looked like a crier. "Buffy…I love you…I," Faith started reluctantly, but Buffy pulled her hands away roughly before the girl could continue and shook her head. The answer that hadn't really been one apparently seemed enough for the blonde to jump to conclusion. He could only shake his head at that, it didn't take a genius to figure out what the answer would've been. "You promised me Faith…you promised me you'd never do that to me. You promised me I'd never have to leave you because of that. What happened to that?" Kenny was surprised at how calm and sturdy the blonde's voice was, but he was shocked as he saw the tears slide down the brunette's face. Faith didn't cry, never had. It made him really think about Buffy's comment from earlier about the girl having changed. Maybe she'd been right. "Buffy…Buffy I'm sorry…don't go, please. Just don't leave me…Buffy please," Faith pleaded, taking the older girl's hand into hers but was shrugged off again. Buffy threw her another glance, this one sad, before she walked away, leaving Faith standing in the middle of a graveyard bawling her eyes out. Kenny smiled to himself. This couldn't have been more perfect if he tried. The blonde had bitten onto his bait as soon as he'd mentioned Faith's promiscuity and gone straight to devastate the brunette. Kenny wasn't actually sure whether that Buffy chick had broken up with Faith, but from what he knew about chicks she'd probably only reprimanded the girl into staying faithful. But not if he had something to say about it. The dark-haired boy stepped out of the bushes, taking one last drag from his cigarette and crushed it with his foot as it fell to the floor. The gravel under his boots crunched as he walked up the small path to the brunette standing a few feet away from him and the girl slowly turned. First she squinted her eyes, the tears seemingly blurring her vision, but as he stood right in front of her Faith stared at him in disbelief. "Kenny?" she whispered, her voice a broken mess of tears and sobs. He nodded and smiled a shit-eating grin, before opening his arms, "Yeah baby, it's me. Miss me?" He hadn't expected an answer and he didn't receive one, but the woman he'd fantasized about for a good part of four years fell into his arms, hugging him so tight he was afraid she'd break his ribs and sobbed into his shoulder. He'd never seen her cry in front of anyone, she'd always explained that crying was weak and Kenny had agreed. But looking down at her now he realized that she was so much more vulnerable crying in his arms than ever before. Not once letting her go, Kenny maneuvered them back to his motel room, knowing that he'd finally get his chance to get back the girl he'd loved. * * * The cigarette fell into the ashtray and he crushed it, then turned around onto his side. His whole body screamed over-exhaustion, his muscles had been stretched to their very limits. Kenny looked at the dark hair splayed across his pillow and smiled as the realization sunk in that she was his again. Faith had not once tried to stop him or voiced a negative opinion the whole time they'd fucked. It had been even greater than he could ever remember, making him almost sing in pleasure and Kenny looked down at her, his head propped up on his elbow. There were tears in the girl's eyes and he furrowed his brows. "What the hell are ya crying about, girl?" His voice was raspy and smoky, but he couldn't have cared less how he sounded as long as it still made him seem tough. "Just leave me alone," she snapped and turned her back to him, something that had always pissed Kenny off to no end. "Is it about that little, blonde bimbo of yours?" the boy asked, knowing exactly that's what it was, but he'd always been an asshole and he hadn't been the one to change of the two of them. "I said leave me alone, Kenny." "Ah come on honey, we both know that you can't stay faithful to someone for more than a minute. She had to find out sooner or later," he shrugged, pulling out another cigarette from his pack and lighting it as Faith turned back around to look at him. "Fuck you, asshole. You have no idea about anything. You I hated, her I love. I didn't cheat," her voice was bitter and Kenny took a long drag of the cigarette to keep himself from raising an eyebrow in disbelief. But then he realized something. Faith had no reason to lie to him, she'd always been honest about her sex life and had openly told any boyfriend or girlfriend that she'd cheated. She just wasn't someone to lie about that and Kenny realized she probably really had been telling the truth. Faith turned away from him again and switched off the light, dipping the room in darkness. The boy finished his cigarette and stared into the darkness for a few seconds. He'd thought he'd won Faith back, thought she was his again. And no matter that she'd fallen right back into his arms when she'd seen him, it didn't matter shit in the end. If the blonde chick meant enough for Faith to not cheat on her then Kenny meant shit to her. And he knew that. He knew that he still had nothing. He might have her body in his bed, but her heart still belonged to someone else. Kenny brought his hands under his head, staring up at the ceiling and smiled in bitter recognition. He'd lost his chance way back when; Faith wasn't his and she never would be. He'd wake up and she'd be gone without as much as a goodbye, leaving only the smell of her on his pillow to drive him insane day by day. And lying in the darkness with a void in his heart Kenny realized that she was still his princess of goodbyes. THE END ---- Yes, it was depressing. Yes, I am awful. Maybe all you other writers out there need to write lots of happy B/F fluff so I'll get inspired :) I am really trying to come up with something that actually has a happy ending, I promise I'll write it eventually. But for now...what'd you think of this?