http://www.rapdict.org/ has a great rap dictionary reference. A local copy so that I can still refer to it when I roleplay is available, but try the main site first.
Rene hit the horn.
Rene hit the horn.
I dont believe it. I shake my head and start to stretch my muscles, ready for the coming fight.
If we're really lucky, they wont hear it.
I hear a rip and a thud and some familiar cursing from the van. Rene curses. And the horn keep going. What the fuck is he doing? He half pulls out of the van and then leans back in again. He so wants to get us killed.
Above us, apartment windows burst open and swearing people start leaning out.
Hmmmm. We got about 30 or 40 seconds before we gotta start fighting.
I look over at Rene and he's foolin' round in the van. What the fuck is he looking for? Keys?
Captain Lard leans out a window above us and politly enquires, "What the fuck are you fuckin' doin' to my fuckin' truck?" Oh great and he has a baseball bat too. My back twinges. I hate baseball bats.
Captain Cheese Burger is onto the fire escape and heading down to dead french man central.
I look around, scopin' doors and other points of trouble. If this loser has to pour himself down the fire escape, then he aint no problem. It's the possibility that his buddies are gunna come out on the ground floor thats got me worried.
I try and place myself in the middle of everyone, so that whereever it comes from, Ill be ready.
Lardo Calrissian and his wookie back hair are makin' their way down the stairs when suddenly, some shit for brains moron throws a Molly down from the top floor. Lucky for us he's a loser throw.
Suddenly there is a burst of light and my face, arms and belly warm up, like Im in the sun in summer or some LA, Buffy, movie shit like that. My eyes snap round and I see the flames burst off the wall, all pretty like. It's like chaos and hell and it's real pretty.
The pretty flame bursts up the wall and down at the same time. The shit below starts burnin' and... Fuck! Glenn!
Jabba the van owner shouts up somethin' about watchin' out for his car. Man Im gunna love poundin' this gey's face in. Just the thought of it makes me warm.
Or maybe its the Molly.
Campbell rushes over to Glenn ushes him back to the lexus. He's screamin', but not too bad. He'll live.
Someone waves what looks like a boo-yaa around. Great. Someone broughta gun and we just got our brains. We're fucked.
Screw it. We gotta get out of here.
I suck up some air and run at the van. We gotta get Glenn and the Lexus out o' here.
My legs are pumpin' and Im ready for the impact. Action at last. The feeling of bein' dead starts to lift and slowly, I come alive again.
I tense my shoulder, hoping that I can push it out into the street even if the handbreak is on, but to my surprise, I thud into it and it starts to roll.
Saved.
Rene pulls out of the cabin, hands full of wallet and keys and stuff, and.... fuck me.... it looks like he wet himself.
Haha. Buzz not ridin' shotgun.
The van rolls out into the street, sadly not collectin' any headons. Man, real life is so not like the movies.
I turn and see what the 411 is on the rest of the gang.
Olga's running down the alley to the lexus. We gots a driver. Rene's standin' out in the open, just beggin' for a round. Dunno where Campbell and Glenn are, but Lindsey looks save and sound by out van.
There is a boom as the fuck head with the bang stick lets both barrels fly. I wanna duck, but I know its too late.
Nope. Im still alive.
The Lexus tinkers as the pellets pepper it. Fuck. This is getting insane. I gotta do something about the guy with the shotty.
I look round and grab a bin lid and flick it up at him. Total miss, but atleast he ducked back.
Shit. Lardo is at the last level of the fire escape now. Damn. Looks like someone fixed the hyperspace on this bucket of junk.
He leaps down to the alley and lets out a real unscary WWF roar. Yeah, bring it on, dick head. You are so dead.
I sprint to meet him. Im gunna need momentum to bring down this lump. He sees me clenches his fists.
Pity this aint gunna be a real fight.
Rene and his wet patch are movin' down the alley towards the lexus, but the guys is like way old and outa shape, so no chance he's gettin' int he way with me and Lardo. Not his thing anway.
I pass Rene and close in on Lardo. At about 7 feet, I jump and turn, elbow extended, aimin' for butt ugly central.
I can see the gears work in his head. I love this part. 6 feet. 5 feet. Thinkin'. 4. 3. Thinkin'. 2. "Hey, she's gunna... ".
"Yep. Sure am big boy."
His dead arse porn soaked brain says "duck" but, too late.
SMACK
His head shoots back and I feel the nose move under my elbow. He topples back and we both end up on the ground. Yuck. Doesnt he ever wash? I so need a shower.
His head cracks onto the concrete of the alley and roll off his jello form and roll, up onto my knees.
Someone, probably Olga has the Lexus backing, so I jump to my feet, and make sure Im clear and that Lardo wont grease up the wheels.
Nope. We're clear.
I head over to Lardo and put a boot into his face. Down for the count, loser.
Lindsey says something, but I miss it. Rene must have got it, cause he throws her the keys.
Campbell seems to have got Glenn into the Lexus cause I cant see either of them down the alley.
I scan around, lookin' for any more of Lardo or his buddies. Nope, we're clean.
Something else has to go wrong then, right?
The Lexus backs past me and I see G and Michelle in the back. Rene is checkin' his wheels over for damage.
"Get in the fuckin' car, Ren." I mutter.
"my car..." he mutters.
"GET IN!" snaps Olga, but he's zonin'.
A weird quiet settles on the alley and the loser with the mossburg starts reloadin' and it sounds really loud. That convinces the Doc to get into the car.
The Lexus pulls out into the road and Campbell heads over to Lindsey and our van. The Lexus looks full, so I guess its the van for me too.
We drive off and, according to my count, we still got all our fingers and toes. Atleast I kinda hope we do.
Rene pulls out his phone and tries to call the other car but his sim card seems to be missing.
He bickers for a while with Olga and eventually snatches the keys from her at a set of lights. They argue about what to do for a while, Rene wanting to go back for the phone card and Olga arguing that we need to goto dinner. Eventually Olga wins out, (although Rene swears he wants to go back).
Anyway, Olga just drives, Glenn bleeds.
Some more bickering about where to go and eventually we decide on Campbells place. Olga rings and delays dinner and leaves a message for our guest.
"What dinner?" Cas asks.
Lindsey explains.
"Uhhuh" says Cas.
We roll up at Campbells place. It's dusty and unlived in, but it looks likes its been that way for a while.
We bicker and decide to leave Glenn and Michelle at Campbells place.
We all shower and get ready. Olga neatens everyone up. She cleans up Rene's clothes (and scores a little baggie with Cas written on it). She considers trying to get Cas to change, but just takes some reasonable clothes instead.
Rene goes wacko when he finds the bag missing, but Olga says 'I didnt see it', so he goes to check out the car and swears again to go back to the scene of the crime.
A quick clean of the lexus leaves it a little less suspicious.
Glenn swears he wont go out.
We drive off.
We park outside money arsehole central. Everyone here looks like some rich pricks from some movie or something. I.. I dont think Ive ever seen people like this.
What a fuckin' place. Shit they dont even have menus or anythin.
Holy shit, look at all these tabels. And what the fuck? They only got one guy takin' orders. I.. Oh hold on, they got waiters or something. So who is the guy in the suit then?
The monkey in the suit gives me the perv and says that I aint allowed in 'like that'. Like what? I wanna punch the prick. What the fuck is he talkin' about? I so look HOT in this stuff. I mean, shit, these leather pants that Glenn got me are the bomb! Jezus what the fuck does this guy want? If these pants were any tighter you could see my peircings!
He's pointing at me and doin' the over acting 'look upwards in shock' thing.
Ah, I get it. He doesnt like girls. Yeah. Yeah, that must be it. He just doenst want me pullin' the rich old guys 'cause its probably too much competition.
Olga pulls out some piece of crap jumper or somethin' and the obviously gay guy in the suit and the rest of my fuckin' "friends" agree that thats much better. Bull shit.
Olga and shoves the light, err, err, for Set's sake, its a fuckin' furry yellow jumper, err, thing into my hands. This so aint me. Olga 'suggest' "Put this on".
"Now?"
"Well, you're not going in like THAT" says Mr Suit. Rene is nodding and Olga is shaking her head.
"Huh?"
"Put it on."
I shake my head and pull off my top. Olga grabs my baby-tee to make sure the twins dont pop out and I slip of the, err, whats a thin jumper thing. I dunno.
The guy looks me over, showing about as much interest what he sees as I did in maths homework. "I gueeeess that will do."
Prick.
We walk in and its.. its.. like Im on another planet. Who are these people? What the fuck are they.
The gay guy leads us to a table. I dunno who set it up, but they sure did miscount. There are like twice as many sets of knifes and forks as there are chairs. Ha. Losers dont even know how to set a table.
Lawyers take note: Faith belongs to related belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and fox..
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