http://www.rapdict.org/ has a great rap dictionary reference. A local copy so that I can still refer to it when I roleplay is available, but try the main site first.
Rene stands up and walks away from us and I just watch him go.
I hate it when we bicker. It reminds me of when I was a kid.
Lindsey hates it too. I noticed the small little twiches she gives when Olga and Rene bitch it up. She twitches like she's danced the old 'you never @*#&$ing listen'-two-step. Another big yay for good old American family values.
He's still walking away from us and I can't let him just walk away.
I look around at Campbell, Olga, Glenn and Lindsey. Great, me, the meat stuck in between the 5-0, Rene's 'wife', a spaced out joker and a fucking psi-cop.
We are so dead.
I feel the bubbling anger and frustration and I want to scream and start knuckling up but, yet again, I cap it and push it down. Why do I do that? I just dunno. I probably should have started slappin' 'em before this. So, why don't I?
Good question, why don't I?
Inside, I know it. It's 'cause DMS is right and they all come from a different world thats why. In my world, you can get beat, fucked over and dissapear and noone cares. With these jokers, I touch one of 'em, and they call 5-0 and then I gotta run again. Still on the plus side, it does mean than when I do snap I get to be satisfyingly fatal, rather than the usual trade of knuckles. Shit, why can't these freaks be like normal people?
I'm just so out of place here. I mean I'm closest to Lindsey for fucks sake and she's just a mark. Back home she's just a target to pick on, for people like me, just a little zero who doesn't even rate on the radar.
Yeah, maybe that's it. With these jokers I'm on the victim again and there's jack I can do about it, 'cause I aint part of their little fuckin' magical little club. I don't read books and I'm not a mind fuckin' psi-cop, so I just get to hang round like Glenn and wait 'till they decide what fucked up thing we're gunna do next. Shit, I hate that. We just sit round, do nothin' and wait to be capped.
Yeah, well fine. So? I'm dumb. Well fuck them all. Unlike these white bread fuckers, homework wasn't exactly high on my priority list back home.
Thats right, Mz Kimble back in 5th grade, `Cassiopeia! You havn't done your homework, again!`
Bitch! Go ahead, laugh and call me a liar. I hope you died. I hope it was painful.
Oh, I'm in a real Set of a mood today. Black and deadly, like the ink God on my arm.
Ah, screw 'em. This is fucked. If we're gunna just bicker and play Campbell's `you all ain't part of my fuckin' secret little boys club` game or Rene's `I'm too smart and rich to be seen with the dumb, white trash slut who saved my life` or Lindsey's `I need someone to hold my hand when I pee` or Olga's `I wanna be the alpha bitch` games, we may as well play the Cas `You fuckin' piss me off and I'm gunna make you bleed` game.
Atleast I know how to play that one. Yeah, lets play that! That'll make me feel good. Crack me some skull and them I'm outie. Onto a bike and dissapear, just like last time, except on a bike, 'cause its cool and minus the fat truckers, pawin' the goodies.
New life. Just me. Noone else.
Well? Why am I waiting? Why don't I? I should get off my arse and kick this plan into action. Ah, fuck it. I'll let Ren force the issue, then it won't be my fault. He's got about 50 yards to go before I have to do something about it. He's slowing. Hesitating.
Maybe he'll stop. Maybe he'll come back. Maybe he isn't gunna try and run.
Yeah, right.
I would. He's gunna make off with the letter and I'm not gunna let him.
Do I believe that the letter is Magic? That burning it will give me a day to 'Get the Fuck Outta Dodge' as Public Enemy says? I dunno. I don't know jack about Magic, but it's worth a shot, right?
Is it worth killing for? Yeah. Sure. Why not. Not worth the chance that it might work, is it? I'm not goin' to depend on it, but if it works, so much the better.
What if I have to do it? Olga and the fuckin' cop ain't gunna just let me walk away with it, they all wanna hug and talk and have whirl peas or something.
Olga's not a problem, she's quick, but she fights like a girl. Plus, I can sense she ain't gone all 'Dark Side' on anyone before, so advantage Cas. She'll hesitate and I'll win.
No, it's Campbell that I have to wack first. She's a cop, so she's probably had some training, so when it comes to me or her, she'll go the extra mile. Im not that worried though, 'cause I get the feelin' that she's all Dirty Harry with the Gatt, but she's sans gun at the moment, so it's head to head, just her against me. That won't be no problem. I can take her easy, I mean she let those fucker's get away back at the Lindsey taxi jackin'. There were only three. What a fuckin' loser. Maybe if she'd done her bit, we'd still have someone to go medieval on after that weird rubber guy's little effort.
Lindsey's got a knife, but she's not the killer type. Well not if she ain't directly threatened. Plus, I think she know's enough to go with the winning side. Faced with me and Mr Knife, she'll cave. Anyway, I should be able to do Campbell before she gets involved.
Yeah, Campbell first, then Olga, forget Lindsey, then Rene. Then burn the letter and head for the border.
Ditch 'em and leave 'em to their own devices, I say.
Let's see Dr `I'm so much better than Cas, 'cause I've never killed anyone`, survive then, huh? Yeah, you come play in my sand pit, bitch, and then we'll see who pisses furtherest. Is that a real word? Like I care.
Lindsey moves uncomfortably beside me. I wonder if she knows what I'm thinkin' with her freaky `these ain't the droid's you're lookin' for` stuff.
She could be useful on the run. I wonder if she'd come along. I mean I could make her, but probably that'd be dumb 'cause I don't wanna be lookin' out for her zappin' me too. She's smart and she seems to know somethin' about this Voodoo crap. Could be useful. Plus she knows when to shut the fuck up and not argue. Yeah, worth a try.
"Hey Lindsey, wanna grab a bike and head off to Canada?" I hear they have those hunky Mountie cops like from Due South. Man, I'd slip skins with him. Me and a cop!? Damn, I need to go hit a club.
Lindsey pauses, then she shakes her head. "Too cold."
Bingo! You took just a little too long there, Lind. Thought about it and didn't come up with the 'no', I definaltly heard a 'maybe' in there. In with a chance there, Cas.
Naaaaa. Who am I foolin'? She doesn't wanna leave the city though and that will be a problem. Although, maybe not. I guess we could try stayin' where she thinks that it's safe and I could always ditch her if things get too hot. Yeah, that could work.
Rene's getting too far away. If he run's he might actually make it to cover before I cap these losers and run him down like a dog. I gotta do something soon. I pull my hands into fists and tense ready to leap.
Screw it. Just screw all this, it's show time.
Glenn nudges me and mouths, 'You ok?'
Shit! Glenn? Should I... Naaa. He's the only one who's actually been nice to me, but he's got the 2.3 wives and the kid. He's fucked and useless if he leaves. Sorry, Glenn, looks like you die, just like Olga, Rene and Campbell too. Respectable people and Cops can't just dissapear. No, all dead except for Lindsey and me. Yeah, I'm gunna have to do 'em all, 'cause I just know they ain't gunna let me walk.
The plan? Get the letter, take the cash and anythin' else they got that's useful and head for the hills, or back to the slums, more like.
He's still walking. Fine. Let's defcon up.
Come on Cas, did you really think the 'group' thing was going to work? Something laughs in my head. You loser! Trusting other people. Yeah, right, 'cause that's always worked so well in the past, huh? My hands twitch and I want to feel bone crunch.
Screw 'em. Their all just out for themselves too, so fuck 'em. They don't care, I don't care.
Not convinced yet.... I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.
Yeah, thats better repeat the mantra, put the people and memories away again, forget 'em all and dissapear to some new nameless slum down South.
Usual routine.
Easy as pie.
Score, zero all and we start again.
Man, just as I had the whole 'rep' thing goin' down in the hood and the dead presidents were lookin' like rollin' in. I was just startin' to get somewhere too, had the bad ass rep and Fixer's offer of the big green and now its all gone up in smoke. Shit! These losers, it's all their fault. Bastards. Why'd they get me involved? I don't know jack about magic crap and it's not like they they tell me any-fuckin'-thing. Why drag me into their whitebread book shit?
Surprised Cas? I guess we're back to how it always is, just keep the freaky cave-bitch round to look fly and put out when their wives won't give it up. Fucker's. Yeah, Rene and Glenn, they.... eeerrr, what did they call it? Summoned? Yeah, did some mojo to get themselves some tight young ass. Fuckers. Screw 'em if they think I'll put out for them! They probably got bored of sittin' in their little basement watching Andy Griffith all by themselves. Yeah. Well, screw them.
And not in in a good way.
Fuck not bein' told jack. Screw not bein' in charge of me. Screw waitin' to be capped. Fuck it. Screw em. Screw life. Screw everyone. Noone cares. I don't care. So, let's get to the bleedin' then.
I shift my weight onto my left foot, ready to spring at Campbell.
The plan. Leap. Left hand to her jaw, push the weight forward and push her over, smack her into the ground, twist the head to the left, slide the knife across the throat and roll through and onto my feet, ready for Olga. Do her too. That shouldn't take any planning. Chase down Rene. Grrrrrrr. Yeah, big-cat-Cas, chasin' the prey. Welcome to my world.
Should I kill him? No. Much funnier to let him live and whoever is fuckin' with us can have him. Yeah, I like that. Obviously, take his cash and stuff after I get the letter. Then come back and grab Lindsey. If she fights, I'll do her or ditch her, but I get the feelin' she knows who is really alpha bitch here. Sorry, Olga, shoulder pads may impress the guys where you come from, youre just a baby G until you cap someone. Still, after I've done Campbell, you'll get your chance to show just how `bad` you really are.
Suddenly Rene stops, just like he heard me.
Well fuck me! Maybe there is a God.
Hahaha. Yeah, right.
I know thats not true. Ain't no God. That wacked old bitch in the crystal stop is just gassed up. I'm gunna twist her fuckin' head off if she starts on that line again.
Especially with Lindsey. I mean it isn't half obvious that its just a guilt trip. She's probably just tryin' to line up repentant young ass for the local priest. I know what it's like to get the guilt trip. `It's your fault, Cassy, look what you made Daddy do`. Well fuck that. Thats a fucking lie.
No. Fuck her and her fucking God. I know that's all crap. Ain't no big white God in the Clouds. Yeah, that's the truth. God just listens to your prayers, listens to you beggin' to make it stop and he laughs his big arse off, rolls you over and then shafts you where the sun don't shine, just for a change of scenery. Screw him.
If there was a God, he'd be more like D's sexy little chaos God. I love the ink on my arm. It's the one true thing in this whole fucked up life. Death, chaos, pain, evil, truth.
DMS thinks it's about freedom and that racial crap, but it ain't, its about bein' strong enough to keep people from fucking with your stuff. I love the ink, because it marks me as one of the strong ones. I'm free alright. Free to fuck you back if you fuck with me. You get in my way and I'll bring Set's whirlwind of chaos to your nice little white-bread life.
Atleast Set comes through in what he offers, pray to him and get get pain and misery, but you don't expect anythin' else now, did ya?
I wish I believed that.
But, honestly, even that's just wishful thinking, isn't it? Misery and pain just happen anyway don't they? They don't need no super guy in the clouds to make it happen, it's just what way life is.
Ren's stopped now and everyone looks over to `poor Rene`, consumed by agnst and pain like some himbo, ab-master wannabe, Californian actor #@*&$ head on a daytime soap. `My friends are dead, woe is me`. So, some chick you've been boning back at the office got cut a second smile? Zip it up and get over it. Boo-fucking-hoo. You still got half your stupid, whitebread friends and buckets of cash don't you? What's the problem?
Get over it ya rich, pastey, soft, latte drinkin', lexus drivin', fuckin' white bread, book nerd, mother fucker. For Set's sake, my friends are dragged off screamin' in the night, I lose my only fuckin' chance of a life beyond 25 and I save your arse, but, `no, we gotta deal with your crap first because they all be rich assed doctors and crap like that`. Yeah. DMS is right, this is 15%. Im workin' for the enemy, but screw it. I know enough not to care for other people, right? None of my biz. Green is green, survival is survival.
Someone else is talkin'. Blah, whatever, some crap about what we're gunna do, I guess. I should probably listen, but what do I care? Like anyone actually listens, right? Why would they?
I'm just watchin' our own little mailman, holdin' the golden, `get out of jail free` card. I'm watchin' like a dog watchin' a Smackos flavored mailman. `Dog's 'ill do anythin' for Smackos`. Well just woof me then. Yeah, `Mine or I will help you not`.
Blah, blah, talk, talk. Who cares? Who ever plans stuff? Well, maybe DMS and Fixer, but not me. This is wacked. These guys are all `no, lets dance round and see if we can find it in a book or the fairy godmother will tell us what to do`.
Screw that. Nobody ever helps you, you just gotta make hurt fools 'till they leaver you alone. Lets kick the door down and go in fighting. Yeah, Cas, like thats gunna happen, with Captain Libarary Book and his fantastic, err, librarians at the helm. Lame one liner, there, girlfriend. Fuck it, this is my head, noone knows how dumb it is, right? They're all gunna die, but screw it, I'll just suck 'em dry for cash, then ditch 'em. I may be dumb, but I'm gunna be alive and dumb. They cost me the sweetest deal of my life with Fixer, so least they do is pay me back before they die, right?
Olga is lookin' at me like I'm ment to do something, but Im just starin' at Rene. Huh? He's come back? Dick head. I love dumb guys. Olga looks over to me and shrugs expectantly.
I better say something. "What? Huh?". Lame.
"I said, `So what do you want to do`, Cas?".
Yeah, right, like you care. You almost had me believin' it the other day with that hold hands and share crap, but screw it. Noone else was really in, were they? Campbell wasnt. Rene wasnt. Why should I? Yeah, laugh it up, stupid little Cas fell for it. I bet you all got a good laugh about that, huh? Well screw you all.
She's lookin' at me. Guess I should say something.
"Oh. Err." I shrug. "I dunno." Make it sound good, say we should work as a team some such crap that she wants to hear. Ah screw it, Im feelin' pissed off, why not share the pain. Oh, sarcastic Cas, I love her. Should I tell 'em what I'm thinking?
`Geee, I dunno, maybe if its Magic, whatever the fuck that means, then maybe we should use Magic to stop the people fucking with us rather than just pissin' round waitin' to be capped, dick heads`.
Ok, maybe don't say that. What do I think? "Burn the letter, go see Alex Able and cap him. Either that or head off to Mexico." I turn to Lindsey. "Warm enough for you?"
She doesn't say jack, but I know she's thinkin' about it. That'd be cool if she did come along, 'cause she seem to have some idea what's goin' on.
Fucked if I know what it all this crap means. Heart of all sorrows? Magic? New Inquisition? There was an old one? Rituals? Crip-toe-nancy? Probably what lets rich white pricks like these keep people like me down. Figures that they can all do it and I'm just, what did father tipsy call me? Skin? Meat? Yeah, white boy secrets, another little gang that Cas ain't be part of. Yeah, everyone's got superman-jedi powers except little old Cas. She's just a dumb piece of arse to do the knuckle work.
So nothin' changed then, huh? Yeah, well, I ain't part of your little club, so you can all just shove your books and stuff. I should just let this Alex Able's boy's cap you all. Infact, for the get out of jail card, I'll do it myself.
"Yoooou knoooow for once I agreee with yooooou, Casssss." Rene pipes in. Rene's on my side? Did I answer the question wrong? Then I look at him and he's got this look, like puttin' a gun to Able's head and peelin' his cap back ain't such a bad idea. Oh, maybe I turned him to the Dark Side. Suddenly I'm warming to the Nuckerer.
Not enough not to kill him though.
I smile and look over to Rene. "At last we agree on somethin', Doc."
Lawyers take note: Faith belongs to related belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and fox..
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