http://www.rapdict.org/ has a great rap dictionary reference. A local copy so that I can still refer to it when I roleplay is available, but try the main site first.
| Warning the following contains adult material!!!! You have been warned!! |
I rush up to the old lady and drag her out of the chair. I shake her and snap "What did you do to me? Where is it! What the *#&$#$*& was that!!!! What did you DO!"
Lindsey consentrates and reaches out to Cas's mind......
Fear... helpless...
"Stupid little bitch"
"I... I... didn't... he.. I mean... I.."
Weak... failure... again...
... grabs me by the hair and drags me ... scrambling to keep up, ... I dont cry ... any more... ... know whats coming... clear my head ... wooden spoon.
Coming pain... be strong... focus... weak... focus... disconnect...
meditating ... clearing your mind... thinking of nice stuff. ... it helps. Sometimes.... Maybe I'm new at it.
... air swish as her hand ... clench teeth... focus. Football. Sun. Dad. Gotta catch it. Dont want to let him down.....
Why... disconnect... Dad... fail... fail Daddy...
Again.
Terror... flee... scream... stay quiet... freeze...
... feel tears... I grit my teeth ... wont make any sound. If I dont make any sound.... If I dont move....
Hope... quiet... hope... pray... help... God... anyone...
creak of a floor board... Maybe it can hear me breath....
Freeze... quiet... hunted... protect me
blankets peeling away... cold air.. His hand touches my shoulder and rolls me over.
Terror... scream... want to... cant... noise bad... brings pain... weakness... panic... failure... why... someone... anyone...
"Hey, Cassy.... Daddy's here."
Scream... 'You're not my fucking Dad!!!!!!!!'... but must be quiet... noise bad...
Panic... must calm... panic... scream... must stay quiet... disconnect... focus... panic... noone there... noone... only me... alone...
... make any sound ... gets angry ... hits me. ... can cry ... because ... can't see ... tears. ... harder during day.
Shiver ... bed creak... his weight.
Trepidation... foreknowledge... pain coming... be small... dissapear... must disconnect... cant be me...
... think of Dad... lost my picture... Its... Its been so long. I can remember ... dark hair... like mine. I... cant... cant remember ....
"Cassy, you've made Daddy feel all excited again. You shouldn't do that. Now you have to make it better."
Confused... Dad... not Dad... my fault... failure... guilt... focus... why... focus... confused...
I... I've done something again.... Im... sunny day... football... with Dad.. eerr... someone... No. No. I'm playing with a puppy. I've made Daddy like this... not Daddy.. Not Dad. Someone who likes me gave me a puppy and we are playing outside in the sun...
Gotta focus... focus... be happy... not here... be happy...
Noone likes me .... Noone gives me things... Noone is there for me...
Failure... my fault... made daddy feel... what did I do... daddy... not... cant remember... daddy... fear... cant consentrate.... panic...
... shaking ... sobbing ... crying.... I... I made a noise.... doesnt like that.... I let him down.
"Shut the fuck up, Cas!!!"
Failure... my fault... failed... daddy angry... I made daddy feel... I cried... my fault...
Calm... focus... strong...
My hands... handle of the bat ... focus ... clear my head, readying for the blow... just like I practiced...
My hands... the bat... slam!... wack!... his face .. blood
Thrill... blood... power... pain... not mine... excitement... desire...
"How the fuck do I make you feel now, Daddy?" I pull the bat up ... another blow... tries to drag his arms up... protect his face and I slam down again .... crack to his arm. The sound is just music... to my ears.
Weakness... not mine... failure... not mine... power...
Mum is shaking herself awake now... her eyes are wide. She's gunna start screaming any time now. *BLAM* I strike again... getting past his arms and hitting his skull. He sags back into the bed.
Power... life & death... excitement... I decide... I give and take life... power!!! Mother nothing... only me!! Me!
Mum inhales to scream... swing the bat out... and catch her in the face and her head smacks back into the bedhead... starts to whimper and sob.
Feel great!!!! Power... revenge...
Thats her delt with. Tony's out with the boys and Will wont be home for another 10 minutes. Perfect. 10 minutes all to myself.
Absolute power... excitement... no mercy... no empathy... victorious... pride...
I raise the bat again and smile. Happy.
Confusion... fear... past... rage... f.. fail.. failure... no.. never fail... must not fail... monsters...
"Cassy, you've made Daddy feel all excited again. You shouldn't do that. Now you have to make it better."
Him!? Where! Fight!!
Kill... fear... fight... expect pain... no... no more... fight... rage... blood... fight... die... must fight...
No! Im gunna kill you!!
Think... old lady... did something... Daddy... kill...
Lawyers take note: Faith belongs to related belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and fox..
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